The saying, “A true princess never claims to be a princess; only commoners daydream of living like one,” may appear to be a humorous observation on social behavior. However, it carries profound implications for our understanding of identity, existence, and human psychology. This article examines the intricate relationship between identity, authenticity, and the human pursuit of idealized lives from both philosophical and psychological perspectives.


Philosophical Perspective: The Essence of Identity and Existence

1. What Is a “True Princess”? Essence vs. Appearance

Philosopher Martin Heidegger’s existentialist ideas highlight the concept of Dasein (being-there), emphasizing how individuals manifest their existence in the world. A “true princess” doesn’t need to proclaim her identity because her essence is revealed through her actions, demeanor, and virtues. Her identity represents authentic being, independent of external validation or superficial labels.

Aristotle’s distinction between “essence” and “attributes” also applies here. A person’s identity is not defined by titles or adornments but by their inner character and behavior. The true princess embodies her values rather than seeking recognition for them, making her identity rooted in “being” rather than “seeming.”

2. The Commoner’s Daydream: The Pursuit of Idealized Lives

In contrast, the commoner who dreams of living like a princess engages in a form of inauthentic being. This behavior reflects a kind of escapism, as described by Søren Kierkegaard’s concept of “despair of the self.” When individuals fail to accept their true existence, they project fantasies and imitations to fill the void within.

This phenomenon also aligns with Jean-Paul Sartre’s idea of being-for-others. The commoner’s desire to live as a princess reflects an existence centered on external perceptions rather than internal fulfillment. Their identity becomes a construct based on how they believe others will perceive them, standing in stark contrast to the inner wholeness of the true princess.


Psychological Perspective: Self-Perception and Idealized Selves

1. The Psychological Need for Identity: Self-Esteem and Worth

Psychologist Alfred Adler proposed that feelings of inferiority drive individuals to seek superiority. The commoner’s desire to emulate a princess can be seen as an attempt to overcome their perceived limitations by associating with an idealized identity. While such aspirations can inspire personal growth, excessive reliance on fantasy without action can lead to emotional dissatisfaction.

2. The Idealized Self: Jung’s Shadow Theory

Carl Jung’s theory of the “ideal self” posits that individuals harbor projections of their most desired version of themselves. However, when the ideal self becomes excessively detached from reality, it creates the shadow—the repressed, unacknowledged parts of one’s personality.

The commoner’s fantasy of living as a princess reveals a psychological shadow: dissatisfaction with their current state and fear of inadequacy. Without addressing this shadow, such fantasies may lead to a split in self-awareness and heightened anxiety.

3. Self-Affirmation and Inner-Outer Alignment

Research in psychology highlights the importance of self-congruence, or alignment between internal beliefs and external behavior, for true self-worth. The true princess does not need to claim her identity because her actions align seamlessly with her self-perception. In contrast, the commoner’s imitation of a princess reflects a misalignment, potentially causing cognitive dissonance—the psychological discomfort arising from internal and external contradictions.

Resolving this dissonance requires embracing one’s authentic self and striving for personal growth based on intrinsic values, rather than mimicking others’ lifestyles.


Where Philosophy and Psychology Intersect: The Pursuit of Authentic Living

Philosophy and psychology converge on one central question: how can individuals live authentically? The contrast between the true princess and the commoner ultimately serves as a commentary on living a life that is true to oneself.

  1. Self-Awareness:
    Socrates emphasized, “Know thyself,” and psychology equally underscores the importance of self-awareness. By understanding their intrinsic values and limitations, individuals can cultivate a deeper sense of identity without relying on external validation.
  2. Acceptance of Imperfection:
    True contentment lies in accepting one’s imperfections. Both philosophy and psychology teach us that growth comes from acknowledging our constraints and using them as a foundation for self-improvement.
  3. Embracing Authentic Freedom:
    Sartre’s existentialism emphasizes the responsibility of free choice, urging individuals to shape their existence authentically rather than conforming to external expectations. Psychology, too, advocates for internal freedom, highlighting the importance of self-acceptance over external validation.

Conclusion: The Pursuit Beyond Labels

The saying, “A true princess never claims to be a princess,” ultimately reminds us that true worth comes from within, not from external declarations or imitations. From a philosophical standpoint, this reflects the pursuit of essence over appearance. From a psychological perspective, it highlights the importance of aligning one’s internal beliefs with external behaviors to achieve personal fulfillment.

For all of us, transcending superficial identities and living in alignment with our authentic selves may be the true path to happiness and self-realization.

By ASEAN EYE MEDIA

Your Gateway to Southeast Asia

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